Most people fight for their limitations, not their dreams.

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They’d rather tell you sob stories about all their constraints and how brutal their “reality” is.

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Comments I hear every week:

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“My job dominates my life.”

“I have no free time for myself.”

“I’m undervalued and underpaid.” 

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These folks believe that their situation is forced upon them.

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They don’t see any possibility of change.

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I remember feeling this way often — I felt so caged.

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But almost a decade ago, things shifted dramatically for me.

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While still deep in the corporate world, something inside me wanted to be an entrepreneur.

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Having no clue what entrepreneurship looked like, I wisely (stupidly?) invested in joining a mastermind program where I’d be surrounded by other entrepreneurs.

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Showing up in that room every quarter scared and inspired me.

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One day, in front of everyone, I admitted I was the lone “corporate” person in the room — just an aspiring entrepreneur.

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I justified why I couldn’t be like the others in the room…yet.

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Sensing my shame and embarrassment, my coach immediately jumped in.

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She hit me with a question I’ll never forget:

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“What are you still tolerating?”

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That rocked my world.

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I immediately had to come to grips with my reality. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I journaled my thoughts on the flight home.

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It was a long list, much to do with blaming external forces (e.g., a dominating job owning my days, and affecting my health and family).

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The answers jolted me to life.

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I realized I was enabling my sad situation…and limiting my career and life.

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I was tolerating a ton of bullshit.

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“Tolerate” is the keyword. 

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It puts the onus on you and makes you take extreme ownership of your situation.

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External forces aren’t doing this to us; we are willingly accepting (nay — creating) our reality.

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In the coming months, I sought help from my coach and peers on how to break through the BS I was tolerating in my life.

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It came down to two ideas: mental models and identity.

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Mental models:

• These are the examples that you let infiltrate your mind. 
• You see others living in a certain way, and it tells your brain that it’s also possible for you. 
• With enough repetition, you swap out old mental models for these new and improved ones. 
• Today, I choose mental models based on freedom (and I program daily).

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Identity: 

• Collectively, the mental models you adopt generate a new identity. 
• Your identity is how you see yourself in the world — and how you show up. 
• Instead of someone constrained by external forces, you are someone who has an internal guidance system, and you’re living a self-directed life.

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But this message isn’t about me. It’s about you.

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So please, answer this for yourself: “What am I still tolerating?”