NOTE: This essay applies to anyone who is a parent, may become a parent, or is meant to be a special force in a child’s life.

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In writing Steve Jobs’s biography, Walter Isaacson asked Steve if he had any regrets.

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Jobs said, “I wanted my kids to know me. I wasn’t always there for them, and I wanted them to know why and to understand what I did.”

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Isaacson probed further, asking him if he was glad he had kids, and Jobs said, “It’s 10,000 times better than anything I’ve ever done.”

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Let that sink in.

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Steve Jobs, arguably one of the greatest innovators in human history, deemed having kids as 10,000 times better than anything he’d ever done.

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Yet, as he was dying, his biggest regret was that he wasn’t there for them.

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Well-meaning doesn’t count

Nearly everyone enters parenthood with the best of intentions.

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We say the right things:

“I will be present.”

“Family above all else.”

“I want my kids to know me.”

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But then life gets in the way of those good intentions.

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…you’ve got bills to pay.

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…the clients need you to take that work trip.

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…you miss your son hitting the game-winning home run because of “one more phone call” in your car.

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Before you know it, another year zips by.

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More importantly, another summer is gone.

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You’ve lost one of your 18 summers with your kid(s).

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And that’s all you get: 18 summers.

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18 summers to:

• Have backyard BBQs
• Explore the great outdoors
• Get bug-bitten on camping trips
• Marvel at the sparkling fireworks
• Splash in the neighborhood pool
• Roast marshmallows on a steamy night

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…all before they grow up, move out, and create their own life.

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Summer is when your kids are home…a lot.

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It’s when “family time” (even in a hellish Corporate America culture) is perceived as more appropriate — so you’ve got no excuses.

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Maybe…just maybe…you’ll also create some quality memories later in life. But don’t count on it.

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Know this: 80% of the quality time you’ll EVER experience with your kid comes in their first 18 summers.

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This is your precious window to:

• Teach them
• Instill good values
• Leave an imprint you’re proud of

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But no, you keep grinding at work — “for my family.”

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You try to soften the emotional weight of your absence (physical or mental).

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“Someday, when they’re older, they’ll understand.”

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“Someday, I’d make it up to them.”

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Here’s what Steve Jobs learned:

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Someday never came.

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Making up for lost time

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”​

—Maya Angelou

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It pains me to write this, but I wasn’t there for my three older kids when they were younger.

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At least, not “there” for them in a way I’m proud of.

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I was addicted to work — to achieving.

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As of this writing, my oldest child only has 3 summers left before she’s off doing her own thing.

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It hurts my heart.

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I’ve been in a mad scramble these last few years to do (and be) better.

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All I want to do is cling to her childhood for dear life and experience as many “impactful” memories with her as possible. Same goes for my three other lovely kids.

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But how do you make those summers count?

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Maybe you’re a parent now.

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Maybe you plan to be a parent one day.

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Maybe you’re meant to mentor a niece or nephew.

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No matter your life journey, I guarantee you’ll have the opportunity to be an impactful (life-altering) presence in a child's life one day.

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When it’s your turn, be prepared.

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It’s not about going full-scale “Disney World” mode year after year.

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Instead, it’s just about being intentional.

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How to embrace those 18 summers

Here’s a framework to maximize those 18 summers with that special child:

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1. Find your groove with work (start here): Figure out ways to be more efficient and productive so you can have more time and energy for your kids during the summer (and all year round!). Set realistic goals, manage your time wisely, and minimize distractions to maximize your moments with them.

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2. Take a break from tech: Designate specific times when you and the kiddos unplug from technology. Use this time to have fun together offline—explore the great outdoors, get creative with projects, or simply have heart-to-heart conversations without digital distractions.

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3. Get out there and explore: Embrace the beauty of the great outdoors by planning activities and adventures outside. Whether hiking, picnicking in the park, biking, camping, or checking out nearby natural attractions, soak up nature's wonders while making lasting memories.

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4. Plan some exciting stuff: Instead of leaving everything to the last minute, plan some cool events throughout the summer that your kids can eagerly look forward to. Think weekend beach getaways, trips to theme parks, local fairs, or even family sports tournaments. Build anticipation.

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5. Create special 1-on-1 time: Carve out dedicated slots each week or month to bond with each child (as you would a date night with your spouse). Do activities they love, listen attentively to their thoughts and worries, and make them feel extra special. This quality one-on-one time strengthens your connection and builds a deeper understanding between you.

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6. Let them earn and grow money: Encourage your kids to take on age-appropriate responsibilities or dive into small entrepreneurial ventures during the summer. It's a great way to teach them about money, responsibility, and accomplishment. They might even become mini investment gurus!

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7. Chat it up every day: Make it a habit to have meaningful conversations with your children each day. Ask about their day, their adventures, and their dreams. Really listen, offer guidance when needed, and create a supportive environment where they can freely express themselves.

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8. Create traditions that rock: Establish summer rituals that your kids eagerly look forward to every year. It could be a weekly family barbecue, an annual camping trip, or homemade ice cream night. These imprints matter.

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9. Nurture their passions: Support and encourage your kids' interests and hobbies during the summer. Provide resources, enroll them in classes or camps related to their passions, and actively participate and learn alongside them. This boosts their confidence, hones their talents, and strengthens the mutual bond. Fan their flickers of curiosity into raging bonfires.

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10. Reflect and roll with it: Reflect on how you're maximizing your summer with your children, and don't be afraid to make adjustments as needed. Determine what activities and strategies work well, and be flexible and open to feedback. Adaptation is the key to ensuring you're making the most of your time together.

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Ultimately, we only have a freakishly small window of quality time with our kids.

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Then, it’s gone forever.

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iPhone invention be damned — Steve Jobs valued being a parent 10,000 times more than anything else he did. And he deeply regretted “not being there.”

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Let's be intentional: find life-work harmony, unplug from tech, explore the outdoors, have exciting adventures, prioritize one-on-one time, nurture their passions, have meaningful conversations, create traditions, reflect, and adjust.

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Make those 18 summers count.

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Because time flies, and regrets last forever.