I see it all the time.

‍

Smart individuals who describe a career and lifestyle that excites them.

‍

They’re brainy enough to realize it’s entirely possible.

‍

And they know what’s required to make it real.

‍

But they remain stuck — for years…for a lifetime.

‍

‍

Despite crushing it at their 9-5, they don’t commit to doing the work that really matters: transforming from Current Self to Future Self.

‍

They don’t create financial independence, soak in precious family moments, or write that book.

‍

The job dominates them:

• Unable to disconnect
• Struggling to keep their head above water
• Claiming “life will calm down when I get through this project” (never happens)

In turn, their personal life suffers:

• Health goes to sh**
• Family members become foreigners
• Time ticks by and that “dream life” fades

‍

They’re unable to achieve Escape Velocity.

‍

Unable to put “work” in proper context — so that it enables the life they really want.

‍

Why?

‍

Why can’t these brilliant people do the work they know they’re supposed to do?

‍

Simple answer: they’re living Outside-In.

‍

Why you’re stuck

‍

Outside-In living means:

• We’re dominated by everything around us (outside)
• In turn, we let that drive how we think, feel, and act (inside)

‍

You’re doing this subconsciously, of course — as a form of survival.

‍

And to be clear, it’s not your fault.

‍

You grew up plugging into systems around you: school, family dynamics, sports, career paths.

‍

In those situations, your community-wired survival instincts told you to “fit in.”

‍

Over time, Outside-In living became hardcoded into your mind.

‍

Many stay trapped in this Matrix-like state for their entire lives.

‍

Paralyzed…by conformity.

‍

‍

We choose conformity because it’s “safe” and “stable.”

‍

But it can also be soul-sucking. People-pleasing and “pressure”-caving eats away at you over time.

‍

This used to be me. I was in my early 30s before I said “enough.”

‍

That decision took me down a far different path.

‍

It led to a better way of living: Inside-Out.

‍

How to live Inside-Out

‍

Inside-Out is a radically different philosophy.

‍

This is about living a self-directed life.

‍

Everything changed for me when I adopted this. And it’s the first concept I teach my coaching clients.

‍

Here, you’re checking in with yourself daily — paying attention to signals.

‍

And make no mistake: you’re a sensory machine.

‍

You have three brains:

• Head
• Heart
• Gut

‍

They’re all sensors. They’re always telling you something.

‍

When one of those sensors says, “something’s wrong!” pay attention.

‍

Burnout, exhaustion, sadness, anger. Those feelings all stem from something more profound.

‍

Go inside to figure it out.

‍

How?

‍

Follow these steps to live Inside-Out:

‍

1. Realize you’re battling Mimetic Desire

‍

René Girard argued we adopt the “wants” of those around us.

‍

Oh, Dave has…

…a fancy car? I want that.

…an impressive salary? I want that.

…boatloads of social followers? I want that.

‍

No, you don’t genuinely want those things. Your mind is playing tricks on you.

‍

Your True Self desires a different life. But you need to do the work to figure that out.

‍

2. Become a reflection machine

‍

I go on lots of walks. During my strolls, I talk out loud to figure out what’s happening in my monkey mind. I do this to separate signal from noise.

‍

But my most potent revelations come through writing. I love journaling, but any format will do. Pen to paper is powerful.

‍

Through spoken and written words, externalize (and sharpen) what you’re thinking and feeling.

‍

(This explains why coaching is so powerful.)

‍

This is how you pinpoint what’s ailing you and what you authentically desire.

‍

3. Maximize energizers; minimize drainers

‍

Simple trick: identify what energizes you and what drains you.

‍

Draw two columns on a sheet of paper: energizers and drainers. Then, rapidly, write down everything that comes to mind (people, places, projects, tasks), placing them in one of these buckets.

‍

Your work going forward is to maximize time spent on energizers while minimizing drainers. It’s that simple.

‍

4. Build a new tribe

‍

If you want to change your career and life, you must upgrade the people in your vicinity.

‍

Too many people default to their family, friends, and colleagues (the last one is absurd, as these cards are randomly dealt).

‍

Your tribe shapes your future, knowingly or not.

‍

I am not saying “rid yourself” of family, but you must consciously choose how much time you spend around which people.

‍

“Default” people won’t cut it.

‍

You need to find people who inspire and challenge you. Immerse yourself in their thinking and ways of life, and it’ll program your mind to operate differently.

‍

Start now

This is the core of living Inside-Out.

‍

It’s a simple yet radical shift. Once you start practicing it, you’ll never go back.

‍

This is your opportunity to say “no” to the paralyzing effects of Outside-In conformity.

‍

Do you see how this puts you in control?

‍

Do you sense the possibilities for your self-directed career and life?

‍

No more giving up your agency to “outside” factors.

‍

Stop tolerating that.

‍

Start living Inside-Out.

‍